A person who plays the victim usually expresses a lot of negativity and believes that their problems are caused by anyone else but themselves. They’re sure that their own actions don’t have anything to do with solving their problems, so they’re left feeling totally helpless. We can deal with them every day of our lives, feel compassion for them and want to help, but without even realizing it, they can manipulate us in the process.
1. They feel sorry for themselves.
The world is cruel and they’re way too weak to change anything about it. This is what victims think of themselves and try to portray to the rest of the world. But the truth is, the outside world is unfriendly and to cope with this, victims constantly feel sorry for themselves and try to make other people feel the same. The more people react to this, the more victims get stuck in this role.
2. They manipulate.
They like to act powerless to gain your compassion and to get your sympathy and support. This will allow the victim to play with your feelings and manipulate you. They can also make you feel guilty for anything you’ve ever done to them. In the end, they do it just to gain more attention and to make people listen to them.
3. They’re like emotional vampires.
People who play the victim can be rather clingy as they try to get other people to help them cope with problems. They create an image of a needy person, refuse to take responsibility for anything and in the end, depend solely on the people around them. After being with them for long periods of time, you’ll feel like your patience, energy, and emotions are being sucked right out of you.
4. Their own life is on hold.
Since victims are usually sure of their helplessness, they don’t put any attempt into progressing their life and getting better at something. Basically, they become stuck in one period of their life. And to make matters worse, they’ll always have 100 more reasons why this happened to them and any of your attempts to help them will be shut down from the beginning.
5. They create barriers.
They don’t like to listen to anything you say about their behavior or attitude and don’t like to face the fact that they’re being toxic. If this happens, they will choose to cut people out and stop any communication with them. This overemotional and irrational mentality creates a lot of chaos in their relationships with people and sadly, they won’t always see their own mistakes.
6. They have problems trusting people.
This is the result of a deep psychological problem in someone who’s a victim — they lack self-confidence and don’t believe in themselves. They project their emotions on the rest of the world and truly believe that other people are just like them: untrustworthy. There’s no guarantee that someone can convince them otherwise.
7. They can’t stop comparing themselves to others.
Because they lack self-confidence, they can’t stop thinking about whether they’re better or worse than anyone else. Typically, they’ll compare themselves to others in a negative way and then get depressed about it. This self-criticism is harmful to both the victims and the people around them as they’ll try to cling to them to gain their compassion. But the reality is, none of us are perfect and we all lack something, which is totally normal.
8. They’re unhappy about their life.
No matter what positive things happen in their lives, victims won’t take it seriously and it will never be enough. No matter what’s lacking or missing, they’ll still want more for themselves. Basically, they’ll partake in never-ending complaining in a vicious cycle. People like this are not usually optimistic and don’t appreciate life and its bright moments.
9. They easily cause quarrels.
People with different opinions, criticism, or those who don’t agree with victims can be taken really seriously. These kinds of people will take any disagreement as a personal insult and decide to attack. They feel that people around them want to mentally hurt them, so victims have to always be prepared to go to war.
10. They take no responsibility.
It’s always someone else’s problem. Victims always have other people to blame for their own fails and problems. They’re not certain enough about anything and are afraid of taking responsibility for their actions and would rather put it all on someone else. This way, they run away from their feelings and thoughts, leaving the rest to everyone else.
Have you ever met a person with a victim mentality? How do you deal with them? Let’s share our stories in the comment section!